A few days ago I planned to do a movie night for the kids complete with a themed dinner, as in one containing food you would find at the movies. I decided on hotdogs, nachos, and popcorn, and I searched on Allrecipes under "movie" to see if I could find anything useful there. Low and behold I found something called Movie Theater Floor, which was perfect. I replaced regular old boring popcorn with my new awesome recipe and received rave reviews from the fam. Ha! I'm totally kidding! They were total dickheads about it, beginning with the husband who said he would only be able to eat a bite or 2, the 10yo who forewentforsook skipped the dish altogether in favor of the leftover candy corn, the 6yo who just picked out the candy, and the 3yo who screamed bloody murder because it wasn't "regular" popcorn. I'm here to tell you they're all morons, because this stuff is delicious. I'm hesitantly going to post a picture of it, because it literally looks like someone scraped the bottom of the movie theater floor and threw it into a bowl. I know that's the point, but still. I'm also going to post my recipe, because the person who originally posted it said to put jellybeans in it, and that's just plain fucked up. Why would you put something fruity in something like this? Oh, and another person commented that they added Red Hots. Seriously? "Oh, I just had some Tic Tacs lying around, so I threw them in, too." Don't fucking do that shit. Follow my recipe, and I promise it will be delish. 1 out of 5 people in my family approves.
Movie Theater Floor (God this needs an easier name.)
Ingredients:
1 Bag of microwave popcorn (or about 3.5-4 cups of already popped)
1/2 Bag of Fritos
5-6 oz of nuts
3 Movie boxes of various candies (I used M&Ms, Reese's Pieces, and Butterfinger Bites- don't try to deviate from this awesome combo)
7 oz of candy corn ( I honestly hate this shit, but I could barely taste it, so you might as well include it.)
12 oz bag of white chocolate chips
Pop the popcorn (duh). Make sure you get all the kernels out that didn't pop, so no one cracks a tooth. Or, just buy the pre-popped bag of popcorn, so you don't have to worry about that. Then mix it in a big bowl with the fritos, the nuts, the awesome candy, and the disgusting candy corn. Melt the white chocolate very carefully, because if you don't, that shit will separate and be useless. Put the whole package in a bowl and microwave for 30 seconds. Take it out and stir. Microwave again, and stir some more. At this point, mine was melted. I highly suggest that you stir for a while because the heat from the bowl will continue to melt it. Once it's liquid, poor it over the popcorn/frito/candy mixture and stir, stir, stir. You will have carpal tunnel and/or hand cramps by the time it's sufficiently mixed. You're supposed to let it cool, but I say go ahead and have a sneak taste of it. Oh, and it's really the Fritos that make the dish, so definitely don't forget them.
Here's what it will look like:
Again, I know it doesn't look appetizing, but it really is. And the kids should get a kick out of it, if they're not total demon monsters.
Here are some other pics that I haven't uploaded, yet. We went to the park, the lake, the pool, and Monkey Joe's and those little bastards couldn't feign some sort of appreciation for my efforts. Anyway, here they are enjoying themselves.
Just FYI my kids need to straighten up, because that little baby in the stroller is the best kid ever, and I was thisclose to trying the old bait and switch with one of my own, so I could take her home with me. All of the kids were spectacularly good and got along famously.
Those are Sophie's sunglasses. Not ones she borrowed from me. Hers. She picked them out from the store, and I love them on her. Also, I'm happy to report none of us is suffering from flesh eating bacteria or that brain eating amoeba thing.
And, finally, here is my super brave toddler who is now jumping full force into the pool. This week she also decided to finally start pooping in the potty instead of demanding a diaper, going into her room, locking the door, loading said diaper, and smushing it on her butt while she plays, requiring use of half a package of baby wipes each time.
On a side note, I really need to use the camera my mother got me for Christmas, because it's really not the same with phones.
It's been 2 months since the 6yo's cast came off, so naturally we were due for another crisis. The 10yo always seems to be good for that. This poor kid has my luck and grace, so if it's going to happen to anyone, it will be him. He's already broken all of the bones in his hand, gotten stitches in his forehead from a rogue golf ball, and sliced the bottom of his foot open on an oyster shell. Before it's all over with, the kid is going to look like Frankenstein.
Today he somehow managed to split open his arm while playing Hide and Seek INSIDE the neighbor's house. We still can't figure out what he cut it on, but it required 4 stitches and a sundae from McDonald's. Poor kid.
Although I'm desperately trying to get back into the work force and put all of this school schmool stuff behind me, I am still technically a student, so that I can continue to defer my student loans until a point in which I am gainfully employed again, and we can afford to begin paying them back. To keep up with the ruse, I am supposed to register today, and I actually found a couple of classes that will be useful in a multitude of career paths. Well, my college is notorious for its difficulties with registering- people not getting classes, system not being able to handle too many people registering at one time, etc., so I am always ready to go at 8 am on the dot on the first day of registration. I always get kicked out of the system multiple times, which is super stressful, but I have always managed to get my classes due to my perseverance and preparedness.
Today is supposed to be the first day of registration for Fall, and the 2 classes I found are offered online, except for 1 meeting for an hour and a half 1 night per week. It would be the easiest schedule I've ever had, and I could still work during the day without having to drop the classes. It's ideal to be sure. Of course, I hadn't counted on the registration system being down all day today, so I've been sitting at the computer ALL MORNING LONG waiting for them to fix whatever the hell is wrong, so I can sign up for my classes as soon as the system is up and running, and move the hell on with my life. My poor children have been neglected and forced to care for themselves, and I know I only have a short time until this turns into Lord of the Flies The Hunger Games ( I actually read this one), and my kids start fighting to the death for their own preservation. I also still need to go to the grocery store as well, so it really is about to be The Hunger Games, and I can promise I will win that shit, so it's best if it doesn't even become an issue.
Since I'm stuck here anyway, I've decided to post some pictures proving that today really is the only day of neglect, because I've been running around all summer like an insane person trying to keep these children entertained. We've been to a few parks, the zoo, and the pool just about every day. All I'm saying is that I'd better be about 50 pounds lighter come August 23rd. Oh, and I probably should note that it's really my neighbor who's forcing me to be a fantabulous mother. She's active and fit and fun, and she's dragging me into that healthy lifestyle with her. And I couldn't be more grateful. Without her, there may have already been a murder-suicide at my house. You can see her adorable little boy in some of the pics below.
Proof to my children's future therapists that I'm not a terrible mother:
They are all clothed, FYI.
He's seriously, the most well-behaved kid. Hopefully mine won't ruin him.
The girls in a rare moment of cooperation.
I had to include this one. This is my father-in-law fixing Sophie's blanket for the bazillionth time.
Water balloons. We ended up throwing about 70 total.
She had just thrown a balloon at me and was so happy.
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