Sunday, May 27, 2012

Master Manipulator

On Friday night, we were over at our neighbors', and the kids were playing.  Victoria somehow ended up bumping heads with their kid, and her already loose front tooth became looser.  It was pulled out by my drunk heroic neighbor, so she got a visit from a tipsy tooth fairy that night that had to scrounge around the change jar to drum up some dough while her husband was passed out on the living room floor (lucky gal).  Well, the next day, we noticed the tooth next to it was ready to come out as well.  It was still in her head today hanging by a thread, so we wanted to get it out so she didn't swallow it in the middle of the night.  The hubs ended up making a deal with her to go ahead and pre-purchase a goody from the store while they were out today in order to prevent the tooth fairy from having to make another trip and to encourage Victoria to wiggle that thing out.  She chose markers, and the deal was done...or so we thought.  The tooth was still in there at bedtime, so she and I grabbed some floss, and with some twisting, a little blood, and a tremendous amount of gag suppression, I was able to yank it free.  Then, all of a sudden, she declared the prior deal null and void.  Wesley told her the tooth fairy wasn't coming, and she got really upset.  I wanted to keep the magic a little longer, so I told her we would see what we could do.  Well, I went into her room later to check on her, and I saw these pictures surrounding her tooth:
They're both pictures of the tooth fairy (I assume), and one says "I Love You," so seriously, what they hell was I supposed to do?  I had to reward the kid and leave her some scratch and a note from the TF herself:
Now if this happens again tomorrow, I'm going to have to put a stop to it.  And, probably also take that kid to the dentist, because that shit is fucked up.  I've had nightmares about pulling my own teeth out.  I don't intend to live them out through my daughter.  Also the tooth fairy is going broke.

1 comment:

  1. OMG...that is fucking hilarious. You should be proud to have such a clever daughter...or frightened...very very frightened because that is sinisterly brilliant. And the tooth fairy is very clever, too. "Toothfully yours". I love it!