Thursday, August 23, 2012

Like a Ton of Bricks

Today is the first day of school for all of my children.  This includes my little 3yo shadow.  I thought today would be all about celebrating the silence and peace, but the silence is deafening, and I'm thoroughly depressed.  I'm supposed to be out starting my Couch to 5K program, and I had intentions of finally putting my multitudes of Pinterest pins into action, but instead I'm bawling my eyeballs out.  I never went through this with the other two.  Hell, I didn't go through it with her when I put her in daycare at 6 weeks old.  I don't know if it's because she's my baby, or because I've been home the last two years, or because I'm realizing that my work as a stay at home mom is coming to a close.  I never wanted to be home with the kids, but when circumstances changed, and that became my life, I really did enjoy it.  I guess it surprised me how much I needed it and how sad I am now that it's over.  So today, I'm going to feed my emotions with terrible food, distract myself with a lunch outing with my friend, and cry intermittently throughout the day.

First Day pics and then some tearful songs to bring you down as well.

This soundtrack is playing in my brain, and that's part of the reason I can't stop boo hooing.
And another one from that film that's even more approriate.
And just to torture myself to the fullest, the video I made for her 3rd birthday.

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