Sunday, November 4, 2012

Halloween Pics

I would love to write something clever and snarky, but I'm pretty sure I'm about 3 seconds from coming down with the flu. The girls both have it, and my immune system rivals that of an AIDS patient, so it's only a matter of time. Plus I'm a big ol' hypochondriac anyway, so I'm over here molesting my neck to feel for swollen glands, checking my temperature, and documenting every sniffle and sneeze.  So while I'm over here dying, enjoy pics of the people that put me in this situation.  Germ factories with legs.

First up: the Pumpkin Patch
Sophie up to her same old shit with the camera

She wanted to pull the wagon

This kid and his expressions.  He cracks me up.

I think she can totally pull off the cowgirl look.

Who's missing?

There she is, being an asshole.

See how she's smiling in this one?  You know why?  She's banging the shit out of that bucket/pig's nose.  I mean hitting it full force, being as loud as possible.  Seriously, she's an asshole. That's why she looks so happy.

"Oh, I'll pose, but I'm not looking at the camera."

"Fine, I'll look at the camera, but my expression will say 'serial killer'".

Here's the part where I FINALLY got Sophie to agree to a group photo, and Victoria decided it was her turn to give me grief.

So now they're both making obnoxious faces.

And it got worse. 

I was 2 seconds from murdering someone. 2 out of 3 facing the camera was not enough!

Finally. Now we can go home and carve the pumpkins.  Except we didn't.  The hubs and I were out of town running a 5k, and then I just didn't feel like it, so I still have 3 humongous uncarved pumpkins sitting on my steps.

I didn't carve the pumpkins, but I did make some cute food stuff.  This was Shepherd's Pie with ghost mashed potatoes. 

Mummy Dogs

Meatloaf Man.  This is enough to make me go back to being a vegetarian.  It looks nasty, but tastes good.  The orange shit is cheese.

My in-laws gave the kids a brownie kit, where you make brownies shaped like haunted houses.

Vic smiling with hers.

Sophie frowning with hers.  Shocker.

Trev was too cool to help, but damn if he didn't help eat them.

 And now for the Halloween pics, which made me realize I really really really need a decent camera, not the craptacular one on my phone.  Why are pictures so important to me? 2 reasons: 1. I have the memory of an abused dog.  I remember something kind of happened before, and for some reason I don't really like you, but I can't remember why, so I keep coming back for more.  Pictures allow me to remember exactly how obnoxious the children were, providing years of torment and payback for when they start dating and have children of their own. 2. My baby pics are almost non-existent.  I've been told many times that "they do exist, but they're on slides," so I want to make sure my kids have photographic evidence that they existed, they were loved, and that we actually did fun stuff, so I can throw it in their faces when they get old and bitch about their supposedly shitty childhoods.
Oh My God.  Trying to photograph this child is hard enough without her wearing an effing costume that can be seen from space when light hits it.  I pouted the first half of trick-or-treating, because of my horrible camera and her  lack of cooperation, vowing at one moment never to attempt to photograph her again.  That lasted 2 seconds, because seriously, do you see these 2 together?  A Firefighter and Policeman. I love them.

Draculaura with her jacked up makeup.  That cheap stuff just didn't cut it.  I tried, but it wouldn't smooth out evenly. She was still beautiful, as usual.

They were holding hands a majority of the night. (Tear)

I was so proud of Trev for being something scary instead of Batman for the bajillionth time.  
Our last stop was our neighbor's house.  It wasn't supposed to be, but they bought candy just for the kids, which means they got a ton of it, so we really didn't need to go to anymore houses.  Shortest Halloween Ever!
Look at that face.  Jesus. 

Trevor looks like he's trying to drop a deuce while Sophie is trying to make my face melt with her brain.

In addition to the Halloween hoopla, we found out that Victoria's picture is being used on the Richland 2 District website. I don't know how often they change the photos, so here it is:

They had professional chefs come in a make food for the kids, which I thought was really cool.  They were promoting healthy eating, which is a great initiative.  

1 comment:

  1. I find it interesting that you claim to have no memories of childhood while being able to "document" every "abusive" action of your older sister. Lends credence to my theory that all that shit was just in your imagination, of which you have a very active one.